Test your illusions

There is a process I created for myself after reading the incredible book ‘Loving What Is’. It’s about discovering reality.

It’s simple really: You have a business idea? You have someone you think likes you? You have a job you think you utterly love?

Test that assumption to confirm if it’s reality or just a figment of your mind.

I don’t mean ridiculous little childish tests to see if, for instance, someone loves you. I mean bringing your full self into the situation without any fear.

Ask for the things you know you deserve in any relationship. Do not let down your standards. Do not take less than you deserve. Hold people to their commitments to you. Hold their gaze when adversity comes.

Then let them show what stuff they are made of in return. Let the person who says she loves you treat you only with respect and adoration. Let the customers who likes your product photos on Facebook actually spend their money to buy what you are selling.

It’s either a reality or an illusion. That’s what you are going to find out.

Do not flinch from the reality that emerges. Do not pretend not to see what you see. Don’t minimise it, or understate it. Don’t overstate it as well.

And certainly don’t wish for reality to be different than what it is.

Accept the reality, embrace it, and then respond to it appropriately.