In this week’s edition of The Joy List, I explain the need to understand FOPO (you’ll see the meaning below :)), why so many people prefer the sanctity of being in the inner ring, and why following your intuition may be bad advice. We also found a connection between how the body and soul transfer pleasure and pain, and why it’s time to jettison the word ‘employee engagement’.
Hope you’ll find it enlightening and worthwhile.
With joy,
Damola
Worth Reading
> Follow your intuition may be bad advice, especially if these three conditions are not met.
“The first is that there has to be some regularity in the world that someone can pick up and learn. The second condition for accurate intuition is 'a lot of practice'. And the third condition is immediate feedback”
> If you are an ardent follower of this newsletter (or the work Joy, Inc. does), you may have heard us talk about FOMO. It's the fear of missing out. There is another fear I've seen; let's call it FOPO. FOPO is the fear of other people's opinions. It is what makes people pay less attention to what makes them unique while trying so hard to conform so they can be liked. This piece guides you towards not just building a deeper awareness of self, but also a personal philosophy.
> What happens when exploring the pain one feels on the right arm provides a gateway to exploring the pain felt in the soul? This is what happens. It's long, and it's beautiful.
"The soul is analogous to the hand; for as the hand is a tool of tools, so the mind is the form of forms and sense the form of sensible things."
> “The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surprising result will follow. If in your working hours you make the work your end, you will presently find yourself all unawares inside the only circle in your profession that really matters. You will be one of the sound craftsmen, and other sound craftsmen will know it. This group of craftsmen will by no means coincide with the Inner Ring or the Important People or the People in the Know. It will not shape that professional policy or work up that professional influence which fights for the profession as a whole against the public: nor will it lead to those periodic scandals and crises which the Inner Ring produces. But it will do those things which that profession exists to do and will, in the long run, be responsible for all the respect which that profession in fact enjoys and which the speeches and advertisements cannot maintain. And if in your spare time you consort simply with the people you like, you will again find that you have come unawares to a real inside: that you are indeed snug and safe at the centre of something which, seen from without, would look exactly like an Inner Ring. But the difference is that the secrecy is accidental, and its exclusiveness a by-product, and no one was led thither by the lure of the esoteric: for it is only four or five people who like one another meeting to do things that they like. This is friendship. Aristotle placed it among the virtues. It causes perhaps half of all the happiness in the world, and no Inner Ring can ever have it.”
One of the speeches I keep going back to.
> If a friend has to convince you on the need for serenity now, more than ever, I’m not sure they will start by informing you that you are more vulnerable to misinformation when angry. I think they will start with how it is pleasing to your soul, and how your spirit will thank you for working on being centred and balanced. While those are true, I like this study with its findings.
“The [study] found that anger did not impair the ability to recognize details. However, those in the anger condition were more susceptible to misinformation than those in the neutral condition. In other words, angry participants were more likely to misattribute details from the initial quiz to what they had seen in the film”.
> Focusing on employee wellbeing, instead of employee engagement may be the best decisions for organisations to make. With the experiences most organisations had in 2020, this should be a no-brainer. However, we have learnt that we sometimes need to be reminded about what is better. I’m an ardent believer that when people know better, they take better actions, and make better decisions.
“Engagement is the attention and absorption that we bring to the job, but it doesn’t mean we’re not struggling in life. As every nurse, doctor, teacher, entrepreneur, and compulsive workaholic knows, it’s possible to be highly engaged and exhausted at the same time. It shouldn’t take a pandemic to remind us that engagement at work doesn’t shield us from burnout or mental health challenges.
I think it’s time to replace engagement with a more meaningful focus: employee well-being. Well-being includes the quality of our lives outside work, not just in the office. It depends on our sense of purpose, support, autonomy, and psychological safety. And it’s not just good for employees; it can be beneficial to employers as well.”
From the team at Joy, Inc.
> Nigerian actress, Dakore Egbuson-Akande is on the next episode of #WithChude. Let me leave you with the trailer.
You can see this episode this Saturday at 9:00pm WAT, on TVC Entertainment. A repeat broadcast will be on Wazobia Max on DSTV Channel 259, as well as GOTV channel 98, Star Times Channel 195 and on Terrestrial TV - at 5pm on Sunday. And on Pop Central Station on DSTV Channel 189 - at 8.00 pm on Wednesday. And on Ebony Life TV on Star Times satellite channel 191 and digital terrestrial channel 107 - at 7.30 pm on Thursday.
The extended play podcast is up at 10:00am Wednesday morning. Search for #WithChude wherever you get your podcast.
> The Daily Vulnerable video clips are available on our YouTube channel. It is also available on TV Continental every Monday to Friday at 7:00am WAT, and on Nigeria Info at 5:10am WAT daily.
Worth thinking about
“In teaching your kids, I think the lesson they’re learning at a very, very early age is what their parents put the emphasis on. If all the emphasis is on what the world’s going to think about you, forgetting about how you really behave, you’ll wind up with an Outer Scorecard.” - Warren Buffett (in the beautiful book titled The Snowball)